I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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