Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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