i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
