We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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