He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
