Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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