Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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