It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
