it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize