Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
