In the future we'll all be gay
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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