There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
