So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
