you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
