there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
