you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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