ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
