Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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