ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
