the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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