I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
