I queefed so loud it echoed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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