is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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