That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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