Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
