I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
