btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Houston, we have a blender
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
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Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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