we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i've created a new STD.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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