i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
