i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
