my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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