pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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