what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
