Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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