Sry I called you an 8
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
