I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
