dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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