That's intense
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
