So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
