Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
