whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
