Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
