it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
