belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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