I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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