Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
