I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
