do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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