do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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