dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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