Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
