I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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