just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
