what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea