I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize