I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize