Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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